and the colourful spectrum of experience
Can empathise with ALL of this. You write so beautifully, and it is such a great reminder in the middle of the day as I bob between thinking about the enshittification of the online world, moving plants around the house, and getting on with something I suspect I pretend is "productive". Wonderful :)
But I'll bet he never pulled the legs off a spider again... 🤭The "lesser" angels - Death and Vengeance - are still heavenly creatures... 🖤🖤🖤
Oh Chloe, you never fail to enchant me, thank you. Accepting the different parts of us and of experience is a dance I try to learn, when it used to baffle and frustrate my hope for harmony both within and without. 💜
I felt every word of this. For those of us who save spiders trapped in tubs, this is a beautiful reminder that we are not alone.
Damn, you can write: "As though that moment was not authentic or truly meaningful unless I was able to sustain the state of peaceful enrapture throughout the day. "
We are encouraged to like three-letter 'yes' more than two-letter, 'no.' But sometimes 'NO' is the best possible response and the most generous and brave of words.
No to spider torture.
No to apologizing for saying no to spider torture.
Yes, to the sparrow in the copse.
From where I stand, you make some excellent choices, dear Chloe.
Amazing amazing 😻 you have such a way with words that always grabs my attention and my heart ❤️
Rage, empathy, wonder, all in a short essay. Lovely. How do you do it?
I almost feel as though I cannot comment, for fear of not articulating anything of meaning. I stand here, reading and now writing as the bus to work is running late yet again, working on being here in the moment instead of projecting my hurried self into the office to catch up on what most likely is a list of tasks that really do not matter.
I too have felt that sense of a once-calm day being shredded into something it wasn't "meant" to be. Being able to accept that and move along with it is a true gift, Chloe. I strive to be that.
(Please note that I smiled at the thought of you shouting profanities from your car 😅 I hope the van driver at least paused to consider the right of way.
I also hope that the boy with the spider remembers that day and has never done such since.)
It is challenging to accept all of ourselves, especially if we were overburdened in childhood with a need to be "good" at any cost. This piece resonated with me being the type of person who "wouldn't say shit, if he had a mouthful." I love the way you write here about your own challenges to reconcile what your internal voice understands to be right and what the world dictates. I also enjoyed your use of the word "fuckwittery" - both the word and your delicious pronunciation of it.
Your writing ruins me in the best way each time. I am so grateful for you ♥️ P.S. I am incandescent about the spider too. Love you!
Hola , Éste Relato Es Una Belleza , Durante Décadas He Construido Casas Para Aves , En Mí Casa Tengo Bastantes Árboles Frutales , Y Cientos De Hermosos Pinos , Cada Uno De Ellos Tienen Su Casa Con Comida Y Agua. Es Un Placer Escuchar Y Observar Éstos Magníficos Animales. Y Sobre El Maltrato Animal Lo Mejor Que Se Puede Hacer Por Ellos Es Convertirse En Vegano , Es Bueno Para Tú Salud Y Mejor Todavía Para El Planeta. Un Saludo.
Chloe, you’ve done it again!
I’ll admit I have listened to the audio version of your last few posts and at the end of each one I have said out loud to myself: “she is so fucking good” — and this time was no exception.
I so appreciated the acknowledgment of the different sides of ourselves and how often these parts can seem so incongruous to one another that the sheer complexity of what we are and how it all fits together becomes incomprehensible. You captured that beautifully.
I could go on and on talking about different parts I liked and how well you convey them, but just know I was, once again, thoroughly impressed.
Great piece, Chloe!
Piping your voice reading these words into my cozy van, before the sun has come to lick up the frost on the leaves out my window or quiet the glow of the string lights over my desk, was my sparrow watching this morning. I felt a swell of tears as the spectrum unfolded. Thank you, Chloe.
thank you - made me sadly happy. permission.
Speaking as someone who has spent a little while (and too long) in the world of ‘branding’, the ‘whole self’ thing is a real spanner in the works! Really screws with the effort to reach a clearly articulated and succinct ‘value proposition’. 🤡
I’m grateful for these words Chloe. Having just experienced this evening, in a small way, the kind of exhausting fluctuation you describe, it helps me to remember that a big part of its energy is the reflexive disappointment I feel with myself. That I have somehow failed to be the preferred me. As soon as I notice that, much of its power just buggers off...
Thank you for doing the wonderful work of articulation that you do.