Talking about death and grief isn't easy, especially in our always online, awake, and bustling world. The job of a modern death doula is one I respect tremendously.
Taegan, hi, thank you and I’m so happy to have you here—and likewise to have found your writing.
Your Substack is such a beautiful concept, and ‘recurring guest’ being your name for grief got me right in the chest. Well done, Sir. Very grateful to be on the journey with you.
While reading this post, sitting by a lake, the thought kept arising (along with little fish and one turtle) ; This is death- all of it- the sun, the teeming bird life, and the rest. This chapter supported a curiosity towards instead of closing against death. Perhaps letting go of outmoded thoughts is a kind of apoptosis too. Thank you for your writing.
Rufus, I can’t tell you how deeply touched I am by your comment, and your astute observation. I find that when I keep death in mind I can better access the miraculous nature of each passing moment.
And I just adore the idea of apoptosis being performed on outmoded thoughts! That feels truly exciting to consider. Thank you so much for your comment. I’m so happy you’re here.
May 29, 2023·edited May 29, 2023Liked by Chloe Hope
I ponder how we miss the function and constant presence of death in our very bodies and the world around us, part of each moment. I find that I feel much less fearful when this change is a constant companion rather than an unwelcome guest. I appreciate so much your article and also the acknowledgement that being with loss (such as of a career or job) sometimes feels more tolerable than that of a beloved homeland or loved one. I think our avoidance of death is functional to a point, but has left many at the mercy of overwhelm more often than not in world where we chase immortality instead. May we have the courage to be with the uncertainty of constant love and loss, so that we may be able to tolerate the inherent grief that comes with letting ourselves appreciate our precious but mortal relationships to others and this changing world with such intensity and intention.
Hi Rain, thank you so much for your (deeply thought provoking) comment—and for being here, and joining me on this journey. I agree, and I too feel much less fearful when I keep that in mind. It reminds me that nature is not something which is 'out there', that I can enter and leave, because I am a part of nature—just as much as the oak tree that I’m enjoying in my peripheral vision as I write to you is.
I think a lot about the functionality of our avoidance of death, and I hope to explore it more here. I have a suspicion that its function is not as necessary as it once was, but that its expression has disproportionately increased…
May we indeed have the courage required to be, and to love, that which is temporary 🪶
Thanks for your reply. I also appreciated "I have a suspicion that its [avoidance of death] function is not as necessary as it once was, but that its expression has disproportionately increased…" and look forward to what you might share about this in the future. I have read a lot of theory about how we got here and am always interested on exploring more. Glad to be on the journey with you as well. 🌱
Thank you, Joanne! Right now, I’m not sure what I’m moving on to next. It’s baby bird season so those little beings are definitely taking up a lot of my thought space at the moment, but I’m open to whatever comes through… Thanks for being here 💀😊
I have much to say about your subject but will hold my fire--except for this: Julian Barnes in _Levels of Life_ says "Every love story is a potential grief story." And from my own experience, way too recently, "the centre will not hold" W.B. Yeats.
I fear not existing and have done my whole life. However, I'm reading Plato's The Last Days of Socrates, and in the Phaedo Dialogue, Socrates is asked why he doesn't fear death, why he's not attempting to escape his death by poison. You know what Socrates said? He said that a philosopher should not fear death if she has spent her life seeking truth and wisdom. To him, the body is just an instruction, what with all its needs for food, shelter, sleep, and other desires. So it's unlikely we will ever arrive at this truth and wisdom in this life. And in death there is just the soul and eternity.
Jo, I don’t know how I missed this last year. Thanks for sharing it. I feel as though it speaks a little to the importance of meaning, and what we place meaning on to, and how it has the powder to transmute fear. I think I’ve pretty much made my peace with the fact that I won’t have much of clue as to what dying and death involves until I get there, but I have some inklings around what makes the process a little smoother. The Tibetan Book of the Dead is an interesting read, those guys seem pretty convinced that they have an idea of what they’ll be traversing after death, and I’m open to the idea of them being right. It’s certainly convinced me that practicing dying before we get there is most wise!
You will be better prepared than most of us. I will get to the Tibetan Book of the Dead as I keep studying philosophy. I look forward to it. I do like Socrates/Plato's idea of souls bopping around up there and we can meet up with any other soul that has ever existed. Like, today I want to meet Einstein's soul and ask him about Marilyn. I like the sound of that.
I wonder if people like Johnny Cash are being bombarded. I think my first stop would actually be Jimmy Hendrix to politely ask him if he’d play Little Wing. Good shout on getting the gos off Einstein, though…
Reading the Book of Chuang Tzu after three years of mindfulness practice yielded this thought.
We fear and lament death because we cannot fully *be* in *this* moment. Instead we dwell in yesterday and tomorrow.
Someone or something we love dies and our sorrow really centres on the imagined future moments they or we will no longer enjoy - even though we are not enjoying them anyway and never can, as an a priori matter of fact (by which I mean there is only ever *now*). It's selfish and irrational, but doubtless served us well in evolutionary terms. Like a lot of things we can't help feeling.
Conceptually knowing this mostly doesn't help, though. It's just interesting to realise, at least conceptually.
Self-knowledge would probably create quite a different public mood and alter many relationships, if practiced at scale. It's fun to imagine the disruptions it might cause.
Reminds me of my old idea for a novel/film in which terrorists put a harmless but 100% effective truth drug in a major city's water supply. Hilarious and disturbing chaos ensues.
Thanks to Adam Nathan for introducing me to your work, Chloe. This is such a beautiful and thought-provoking piece of writing that provides a perspective on death that I hadn't considered. I can't wait to read more from you.
I cross posted this exceptional writer (Chloe Hope) on my site, but the brief text you are allowed to provide didn't have room for what I'd written about her work. My full appreciation here:
Glad to have found your Substack.
Talking about death and grief isn't easy, especially in our always online, awake, and bustling world. The job of a modern death doula is one I respect tremendously.
Looking forward to reading more!
Taegan, hi, thank you and I’m so happy to have you here—and likewise to have found your writing.
Your Substack is such a beautiful concept, and ‘recurring guest’ being your name for grief got me right in the chest. Well done, Sir. Very grateful to be on the journey with you.
ditto
💚
While reading this post, sitting by a lake, the thought kept arising (along with little fish and one turtle) ; This is death- all of it- the sun, the teeming bird life, and the rest. This chapter supported a curiosity towards instead of closing against death. Perhaps letting go of outmoded thoughts is a kind of apoptosis too. Thank you for your writing.
Rufus, I can’t tell you how deeply touched I am by your comment, and your astute observation. I find that when I keep death in mind I can better access the miraculous nature of each passing moment.
And I just adore the idea of apoptosis being performed on outmoded thoughts! That feels truly exciting to consider. Thank you so much for your comment. I’m so happy you’re here.
I ponder how we miss the function and constant presence of death in our very bodies and the world around us, part of each moment. I find that I feel much less fearful when this change is a constant companion rather than an unwelcome guest. I appreciate so much your article and also the acknowledgement that being with loss (such as of a career or job) sometimes feels more tolerable than that of a beloved homeland or loved one. I think our avoidance of death is functional to a point, but has left many at the mercy of overwhelm more often than not in world where we chase immortality instead. May we have the courage to be with the uncertainty of constant love and loss, so that we may be able to tolerate the inherent grief that comes with letting ourselves appreciate our precious but mortal relationships to others and this changing world with such intensity and intention.
Hi Rain, thank you so much for your (deeply thought provoking) comment—and for being here, and joining me on this journey. I agree, and I too feel much less fearful when I keep that in mind. It reminds me that nature is not something which is 'out there', that I can enter and leave, because I am a part of nature—just as much as the oak tree that I’m enjoying in my peripheral vision as I write to you is.
I think a lot about the functionality of our avoidance of death, and I hope to explore it more here. I have a suspicion that its function is not as necessary as it once was, but that its expression has disproportionately increased…
May we indeed have the courage required to be, and to love, that which is temporary 🪶
Thanks for your reply. I also appreciated "I have a suspicion that its [avoidance of death] function is not as necessary as it once was, but that its expression has disproportionately increased…" and look forward to what you might share about this in the future. I have read a lot of theory about how we got here and am always interested on exploring more. Glad to be on the journey with you as well. 🌱
This is amazing, Chloe. Courageous cour age - of the heart. So beautifully and so simply introduced. You make the ‘unthinkable’ inviting.
💖
Thank you so much, Rosi. I very much like the idea of making the unthinkable inviting...💕
Excellent read Thanks 😊 Are you moving on to death energy soon?
Thank you, Joanne! Right now, I’m not sure what I’m moving on to next. It’s baby bird season so those little beings are definitely taking up a lot of my thought space at the moment, but I’m open to whatever comes through… Thanks for being here 💀😊
It is quite wonderful to begin imagining this image!
I have much to say about your subject but will hold my fire--except for this: Julian Barnes in _Levels of Life_ says "Every love story is a potential grief story." And from my own experience, way too recently, "the centre will not hold" W.B. Yeats.
I understand, now. Thank you, Mary. Very much looking forward to hearing what you have to say, whenever you chose to fire :)
I fear not existing and have done my whole life. However, I'm reading Plato's The Last Days of Socrates, and in the Phaedo Dialogue, Socrates is asked why he doesn't fear death, why he's not attempting to escape his death by poison. You know what Socrates said? He said that a philosopher should not fear death if she has spent her life seeking truth and wisdom. To him, the body is just an instruction, what with all its needs for food, shelter, sleep, and other desires. So it's unlikely we will ever arrive at this truth and wisdom in this life. And in death there is just the soul and eternity.
Jo, I don’t know how I missed this last year. Thanks for sharing it. I feel as though it speaks a little to the importance of meaning, and what we place meaning on to, and how it has the powder to transmute fear. I think I’ve pretty much made my peace with the fact that I won’t have much of clue as to what dying and death involves until I get there, but I have some inklings around what makes the process a little smoother. The Tibetan Book of the Dead is an interesting read, those guys seem pretty convinced that they have an idea of what they’ll be traversing after death, and I’m open to the idea of them being right. It’s certainly convinced me that practicing dying before we get there is most wise!
You will be better prepared than most of us. I will get to the Tibetan Book of the Dead as I keep studying philosophy. I look forward to it. I do like Socrates/Plato's idea of souls bopping around up there and we can meet up with any other soul that has ever existed. Like, today I want to meet Einstein's soul and ask him about Marilyn. I like the sound of that.
I wonder if people like Johnny Cash are being bombarded. I think my first stop would actually be Jimmy Hendrix to politely ask him if he’d play Little Wing. Good shout on getting the gos off Einstein, though…
Reading the Book of Chuang Tzu after three years of mindfulness practice yielded this thought.
We fear and lament death because we cannot fully *be* in *this* moment. Instead we dwell in yesterday and tomorrow.
Someone or something we love dies and our sorrow really centres on the imagined future moments they or we will no longer enjoy - even though we are not enjoying them anyway and never can, as an a priori matter of fact (by which I mean there is only ever *now*). It's selfish and irrational, but doubtless served us well in evolutionary terms. Like a lot of things we can't help feeling.
Conceptually knowing this mostly doesn't help, though. It's just interesting to realise, at least conceptually.
I really appreciate your comment, Mike. This is why mindfulness should be taught in schools...
Self-knowledge would probably create quite a different public mood and alter many relationships, if practiced at scale. It's fun to imagine the disruptions it might cause.
It is fun! Major paradigm disruption, me thinks
Reminds me of my old idea for a novel/film in which terrorists put a harmless but 100% effective truth drug in a major city's water supply. Hilarious and disturbing chaos ensues.
Oh that's brilliant. And those are my kind of terrorists (if one can say that sort of thing 👀)
Thanks to Adam Nathan for introducing me to your work, Chloe. This is such a beautiful and thought-provoking piece of writing that provides a perspective on death that I hadn't considered. I can't wait to read more from you.
Ben, thank you. I'm so grateful to Adam, and to you for your kind words. I'm very happy to have you here.
I cross posted this exceptional writer (Chloe Hope) on my site, but the brief text you are allowed to provide didn't have room for what I'd written about her work. My full appreciation here:
https://www.adamnathan.com/p/death-and-birds-chloe-hope